30. Patty Castellon, Television Producer on Adapting to Succeed

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Episode Transcript

[cue intro theme]  

Alisa Manjarrez: Today we’re talking about something a little bit counter-cultural.  All around the idea of staying in a job when the going gets tough. I want to know from you, Merary and Rosa, have you ever stayed at a job when you really wanted to leave, especially when you’re starting out in your career?

Merary Simeon: I don’t think there’s ever been a job that I never wanted to quit. Whether I was young or older, there comes a time where I got frustrated and I wanted to leave. I think where I got my growth from was staying and enduring it and learning from those experiences, but I think every, time to be honest.   

Alisa Manjarrez: I remember my first job, after the first day my boss said, okay, great. See you tomorrow. And I go, I have to come back tomorrow?

Rosa Santos: I don’t think I’ve wanted to quit every job that I had. I think I’ve been close to exploring and opening up a different possibility. But like you, Merary, I think I realize the moment where frustration takes over and I think it’s only with years of expertise and maturity that I’ve learned to realize that those are the moments that in fact I have learned, and I learned the most. When I am completely uncomfortable, when I think I’m hitting a wall, when I think I cannot change anything, because I think I have come to this worlds to change things around me, when things are way too stale is when I actually find those moments of growth.  

Merary Simeon: Yeah, I remember my first job, I was straight out of high school. If you all remember I went directly into a co-op, and I must have got hired by the hardest, most difficult micro-manager in the world. I hated it. Hated it. It was actually a woman, but let me tell you, I learned so much because I’ve learned to dot my I’s, cross my T’s, and not make mistakes. I really learned the business. I learned the processes. Working for a micro-manager at the time, it really made me stronger and it really made me know the business, even though I hated every second of it, but I grew a lot.

And because of her, I was then picked to do other jobs because people knew that I knew it well. But yes, every day I felt like quitting and right now I’m so thankful, when I look back, I’m like, Whoa, I’m glad I stayed because I learned a lot.

[cue music] 

Alisa Manjarrez: Our next guest is the queen of perseverance and understanding when to stay and when to go when the going gets tough.  

Patty Serrato: My name’s Patty Castellon, but my maiden name is Patty Serrato and that’s where everybody at work knows me. I am a producer for the Emmy award winning and nationally syndicated entertainment show Extra. 

Alisa Manjarrez: In case people don’t know what Extra is, it’s the hottest celebrity and entertainment news, photos, gossip, scandals, videos, games, music, movies, television, star, sightings, and more, and it’s hosted by Billy Bush. 

Patty Serrato: You’ve probably seen this before and you’ve probably heard our little, jingle, Extra, Extra. 

Alisa Manjarrez: Patty works at a place where trends come and go, yet her story is one of staying. And I think it’s really interesting that as a young person, she is not  doing what everyone else on social media, at least, says to do.

Like on social media, I feel like the message is, if it gets hard go, because you deserve so much better. 

Patty Serrato: There’s so much stigma around young people and how they automatically need to get like a business off the ground and be, you know, these entrepreneurs, like and these influencers. And there’s so much about that for our young people that it’s a pressure.

[music cuts]

Rosa Santos: I don’t think it’s about the messaging. I think it’s probably generational, right? As newer generations join the workforce, I think expectations continue to evolve and change. Really being clearer around what you are expecting as a contributor to whatever cause, organization, community, wherever you are.

I mean, clear about what you value. What you’re referring to as the messaging. The messaging is, Life is too short, do whatever fulfills you at every single moment in time. And I think be present to it. The more that we are in this tumultuous times,the more true those statements are, right? 

I think people are making decisions about their lives that I don’t think a few months back they would have made. It’s a really interesting conversation for us to enter and dialogue around.

Merary Simeon: Yeah, I think it goes back to how you feel as a person, because although I believe, when you push through that uncomfortable side is when you’re able to transform. I do also think that if it’s mentally causing you fatigue or is impacting your emotional health, then you need to make yourself a priority and move on. Everybody experiences things different and while I may be okay with staying, fighting it through transforming, not everybody can make it through that transformation at the same pace. 

Rosa Santos: What I find absolutely fascinating is just trying to wrestle between that tension. Okay, it might be good for me to either stay or go.

Alisa Manjarrez: It’s like, how toxic is too toxic?

Rosa Santos: Yeah. Or how patient is to patient, right? And I have to tell you, I think in hindsight, when I look back at my career, I have to say that I think I made decisions about how I conducted my career that if I could go back right now, I wouldn’t make those same decisions. 

And in some cases, I think I would have stayed longer in the jobs that I had. Because I think now what I value the most is growth. The growth in the whole sense of the words, right? Growth in really having and working with the right people around me that fill me with joy new learning opportunities. Growth of getting into things like what we do ourselves, right? So I think of growth in a really holistic perspective. And I think when I made my decisions back in the day, I was thinking about my growth as a linear journey. That’s why I’m thinking, if I could go back, I think I would change it. Because for me right now, it’s not linear. It’s really… it’s more like a balloon, if I can describe it. It’s about all kinds of different things that happen, both at work, outside, with my friends, with my community. It’s all a compendium. And I think, sometimes some of those things is a little bit like a scale, right? What’s enabling what? And what decisions around all that ecosystem are going to make me feel that I am enjoying that process of becoming who I want to be, that will never end? And I wasn’t necessarily thinking about it that way when I was younger.

Alisa Manjarrez: I actually think Patty was. Maybe she wasn’t aware of it, because when she entered into this industry, she was young. She was just out of college. There are a lot of male executives who didn’t really value what she had to say or her ideas. And I think she had that growth mindset of like, here’s an obstacle in my way. There are all these men who don’t value me, what am I going to do to still succeed where I’m at?

Patty Serrato: When I started my journey with Extra, I was literally a college graduate. I was 22 years old. It was a very big surprise to me that I was going to get my foot in the door. And I will say that I got my foot in the door in a very male centric department at the beginning. And It taught me a lot of things, and it taught me a lot how to A, carry myself as a woman and to carry myself as a woman amongst a bunch of men. 

Alisa Manjarrez: And she shared with us that she just learned how to listen and how to speak the language of everyone she was working with. 

Patty Serrato: I was able to understand what my executives want. And I was able to understand what my, you know, what some of the assistant producers wanted or what some of the… they call them the PAs, the production assistants, like how, how to work with everyone individually and cater to their needs are, or how to, you know, speak with them and, you know, to get basically the job done.

And that was like in the office. And I want to say, out of the office, because, you know, celebrities are very private and anybody that you talk to that’s in Hollywood or a celebrity per se, yeah, they’re very private and they want things done the way that they want things done.

So you kind of have to be that middle person to be the collaborator with them.  

Rosa Santos: I don’t think I’m that gracious. I would have probably said, Thank you. I’m done. 

Alisa Manjarrez: We actually know you would have said, Thank you. I’m done. Because we’ve heard your stories.

Rosa Santos: But I go back to Merary, right? What my level of tolerance for that frustration might be, doesn’t have to be your same level of tolerance. 

Merary Simeon: It’s different for all of us. And every person should take a look at themselves and figure out what they can tolerate and not tolerate. What you don’t want is to be in a position where you burn yourself out or you get yourself sick because it’s not worth it.

But if you feel that you can go through that uncomfortable process and grow from it, by all means, go right through it. 

[cue music]

Alisa Manjarrez: Even with finding her own voice and learning how to assert herself in those environments, it took years for her to get there. And I don’t know if I could have spent so many years finding my voice in that cutthroat environment.  

Patty Serrato: I would have never spoken up as much as I do now, back when I first started. 

And I think that all comes with time. And if somebody has the ability to maybe speak up for themselves at a very young age, all the power to them, because that takes a lot of bravery and boldness.

Alisa Manjarrez: I think it was that process of becoming that she embraced that showed a lot of patients. So, I mean, here she is 14 years and now she’s like at the peak of her career. Was it worth it? I mean, I think it was for her.

[music stops] 

Rosa Santos: But I think there’s a lesson to be learned out of that, right? Regardless of what we are discussing, what might work for you or for me or whatnot. I think sometimes it’s worth, really exploring what will you be leaving behind, right? If you are to quit, what is it that you were quitting and what is it that you’re looking for?

I don’t think at the moment we ask ourselves those questions. And especially when you are in a job or in a position in which you have not necessarily learned all that you could learn from it. I think as you go into that opportunity, you need to ask yourself and you need to answer to yourself, what is it that you want to get out of that opportunity?

And have very specific goals out of it and kind of describe to yourself, like, when will I tick all of my boxes, so then I’m ready to leave that opportunity or that job or that position or that level, however you refer to it yourself. And I don’t think for the most parts, and I count myself in that, we think that way. I don’t think we’re that strategic, if you like, when thinking about what you want to get out of a given job, a given organization, and again, a given project, whatever it might be. And I think getting into that healthy way of approaching it so you know, again, what’s in your power and at what point you’re going to make a decision around that is going to be really key, if you know what you want to get out of it.

And you have very specific goals and a very specific vision that you’re trying to fulfill within that. So then you can go back to that north and say, Oh, okay, I’m really close. I’m really far. And unless something else happens, then you can stick out with it because otherwise you’d be missing out.

You’d be missing out. And I think that’s part of the story here is, sometimes we jump way too quickly and we don’t gain and take advantage of all that we could have by staying a little bit longer.

Merary Simeon: You got to understand, what am I leaving behind and is it worth it? Of course, every situation is different. I think I go back to the environment that you’re in and how is that working for you, versus your ambitions and wanting to move quickly without having the right experience that ultimately in the long run will make you stronger.

Alisa Manjarrez: One of my favorite coaching questions is, if you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to? And in Patty’s case the question she gets most often when it comes to career is, how do you do it all? She has three young children. She’s very involved in their lives. She’s adorable. They’re adorable. They look like a mommy blogger family.  

Patty Serrato: Everybody says like, Oh, well, how do you do it? How do you balance the career and the family? I’m like, well, you just do it. So I can’t give you a tip  because you just manage the chaos. 

As a young person coming in I was career focused and that was a great thing to have. And I’m glad that my career worked for me and that I was able to get into this place where it was comfortable and I felt secure and that allowed me to pursue the other aspects of my life. And that was family. Family was next after a career. 

Alisa Manjarrez: She’s comfortable. She knows what to do. She’s learned how to manage the stress. She’s learned how to use her voice. And because of that longevity, she’s able to say yes to having a family the way she wants to have it.

Patty Serrato: I love to be encouraging and I want to influence people and I want to inspire others to get where I’m at, but I want to tell them that, it didn’t happen right away. It started little by little, gradually growing until I found my footing and you know, my voice was small, and then it got a little bit bigger, and a little bit bigger, and a little bit bigger, until it got huge.

And now it’s like, I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I’m not afraid to tell you anything. I’m not afraid say this or that. But I will say that, to a young person who wants to have it all, you got to compartmentalize and focus on each little thing first before you do have at all. I think there’s so much value in that, and that’s what’s being lost with a lot of young people today. 

[cue short musical break and promotion]

Alisa Manjarrez: Hey, it’s Alisa, if you would like to connect with me, Rosa or Merary, go ahead and find Color Forward Podcast on Linked In, and we are always there. I use it all the time to reach out to executives, or women who I would love to see on the podcast. One of the things that we love to do on the Color Forward page is give tips and tools for how to actually advance in the workplace. So the conversations that we have here, we’re also talking about there. And we would love to hear from you to see what you have to say. Follow us on Linked In, and share it out with your coworkers, employee resource group or whoever you think would benefit from advancing multicultural women in the workplace.  

[next promotion]

Alisa Manjarrez: 2020 has not been what anyone has expected, but it’s October, and Im already thinking about 2021, and I really think that how you show up now sets the tone for the future. And I want to help get you ready for 2021 with an interactive workshop called Gearing Up For 2021 and Beyond. We’re going to create strategies for growth in the next year, and we’re going to start craving path forward for both our personal and professional lives. You will also find an accountability at the end to keep you going throughout the year. You can go to the happy cactus dot club. It’s 90 minutes. It is Wednesday, November 18th at 12 PM Pacific. And I hope to see you there. 

[end musical break and promotions]

Alisa Manjarrez: The next obstacle that Patty talks about when she was first starting out there was definitely a way things were done, and if you think about Extra TV is a television show that’s been around for over 20 years and when she was coming in she had to understand her place. And I think it took a lot of humility for her to be this college grad with all these great ideas and she had to insert herself into a system that was already working.

Patty Serrato: Why fix something is it’s not broken? I’ve seen it firsthand, like in my workplace, if somebody younger comes into the space and tries to present ideas, it’s kind of like, Nah, that didn’t really work. You know, this has worked for so long.

And I feel like for me, I’m not super young. I mean, I’m in my mid thirties, but I try to be on top of like, all like the new hip things to do. And so when I present them, I don’t really get a lot of positive feedback because I think Extra’s just so used to what they’re doing. And it could be a statistical thing with demographics or where our show is presented. Who knows? But I do see that if Im talking about the latest TikTok dance, or the YouTube person that I think is going to really make a big splash, it’s kind of like, Well, I don’t think it really works for our space.

Merary Simeon: I think it’s gotta be both ways. So one, you have the ideas, but the other one is understanding how can they be brought to life, and sometimes it may not be in a year, maybe two, because it takes a cultural change number one, or sometimes you’re so strategic or so creative that you’re ahead of what the world is ready to accept, and in this case, the organization was ready to accept. So I think it goes both ways. I would say, continue with that and don’t give up. But at the same time, figure out how you can remove those obstacles that are the ones that people continue to bring up. Like, Hey, you don’t know how to actually execute this. There’s so many different things that need to happen before that can happen. And I think taking the time to learn that, to see your ideas or your creation to life, I think is important.

Rosa Santos: And I may bring a different perspective here. I think we need to be humble, right? We don’t know it all. No one does. Sometimes we just don’t like to hear it that way, because we always think that our idea is the best idea after sliced bread, right? But the truth of the mater is, it’s like, yeah, we don’t know it all. And if there is something that is ever so important for you, or you have such incredible vision idea way of approaching specific processes, or whatever it might be, what other outlets can you find to channel that energy in a purposeful way. Because I think it’s all about learning. It’s all about exercising curiosity. It’s all about growing and continuing to do so. And, again, finding another channel that is going to provide you with, you know, a valve where you can actually focus that energy in other ways, it may be a good way to continue to keep yourself pumped up and energized to continue to come to that job that you want so dearly or that you want to stick out to.

Alisa Manjarrez: If I had a manager telling me, like, you have so many great ideas, why don’t you find another place to have them? I would be mad. I’d be like, okay. I reached my level of tolerance. This is obviously not where I want to be.

Rosa Santos: No, but it goes back to the ecosystem. You might want to stay in that job because you might know that in the longer run, you’re going to be the one who will actually hold all the knowledge or the expertise and that you bring the credibility to that organization, whatever it might be.

But you may not be able to fulfill every thing through that just one opportunity or job. That’s what I mean by this idea of the ecosystem. And what are the buttons in that ecosystem that you need to press up and down to keep it all in balance. 

How do you find self realization in a more diversified way that when we tend to think in a very traditional way of looking at our jobs, right?

Because I think for her, in this instance, staying and really seeing it through so many years has provided her with other opportunities outside that work environment.

Patty Serrato: I had to really work hard, and I had to adapt to like how my executives like wanted scripts to be written or my bosses, how they wanted things to be done. I had to adapt to it. My younger creative level kind of took a little dip because, like I said, what we’re doing works for a reason.

I mean, we’ve got two Emmys under our belt and multiple nominations under our belt. Every year we get nominated for it. So we’re doing something right. But make it work for you and love it, because if you don’t love it, then you might as well leave. And I think that’s why I’ve stayed there for so long is because when I did adapt to the style of writing or how my boss wanted us to gather certain information or what we wanted to do, I loved it. And I said, yeah, this can work for me. I love this. 

Rosa Santos: She’s focused on her family. She’s focused on being with her children, on bringing that flexibility that maybe otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to get.

So it’s all about looking at it in a more of a holistic way than just in a linear one dimensional way of thinking about your career.

Alisa Manjarrez: Yeah, I think that’s a really good way of thinking about it, because when you’re in a work situation, everything feels like you’re in a tunnel. And it’s very hard to think about the bigger picture, especially if you’re stressed out,  people are being rude to you, you’re not being heard. Like Merary’s micromanager situation.

When you’re in that, all you can think about is, I feel suffocated and get me out.  But like, if you can take a step back and look at everything else in your life your perspective will change.

[cue music] 

Rosa Santos: Nothing that happens to you within the context of a job is personal, as it relates to the job itself. But what do we do? We take everything personally. Every single thing that happens, we take it personally. 

If you’re able to remove that emotional aspect of it and see it for what it is and how that is enriching you, one way or the other, is a different way of walking through life while you are in that tunnel, as you said it. 

[music cuts]

Merary Simeon: It is very difficult, especially when you know you’ve worked hard at it, right? And if I think about it, when you talk about being yourself inside and outside of work, depending on the situation that is going on at work, you’re disrespecting my whole self, right? Even though the work may have a portion to do with it, and my work is absolutely not my entire life. It can feel like that sometime, because at the end of the day, I am still a human being. So I can see how it can be very difficult for some, and I can also see, because it’s happened to me, where I do need to step back and say that happened at work, that does not dictate the other 90% of my life.

Rosa Santos: I’m so glad, Merary, you’re the human being, between the two of us.

Alisa Manjarrez: It is hard to be human, because you do feel things.

Rosa Santos: I’m just half human, guys. I’m just half human. 

Alisa Manjarrez: Yeah, Rosa has this like amazing robotic capability of like, this is not my life. I will move over here. Get off my shelf.  

Rosa Santos: Absolutely. I’m just pragmatic. Yes. I’m just pragmatic. I think I’ve been trying to be pragmatic since I was very little. So I try. I try. I’m not saying that, you know… There are many occasions where I actually burst into tears as well. Yes, those do run through my system.

[cue outro theme music]

Alisa Manjarrez: What would you guys say to people who right now are in that decision-making phase? Like, I don’t know if it’s time to go. I don’t know if I should stay. I hear what you’re saying. I need to do whatever it takes to grow, but I’m confused.  

Rosa Santos: If you don’t throw yourself into a little bit of uncertainty, ambiguity, then for me, that’s where the learning is not going to occur if you don’t do that.

And it goes back to the beginning of our conversation around the discomfort, the frustration, pushing yourself into spaces that make you feel not who you are, and therefore by the mere factor of being there, you’re gonna grow. Sometimes we actually have to do that. Where sometimes we have to say like, you know what, I’ve had it, I’m jumping, right? I’m jumping into that pool. I don’t know how deep it is, but I’m going to try it. And that is okay too, to say, you know what? I didn’t tick all of my boxes, but I think I want to try that water and see what that feels like.

Merary Simeon: I think people just have to look and see what’s best for themselves  take a look at your situation. If it’s abusive and it’s causing you a mental illness or emotional illness, or even physical illness, then get out as fast as you can. Because the number one priority is you. Find that resiliency, move forward, transform and learn from it. You can find another job, but we can’t find another you.

[musical break]

Alisa Manjarrez: For more inspiring stories, please subscribe on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you have a guest you’d love to hear on the show, send us a DM on Instagram at @colorforwardpod.

I’m Alisa Manjarrez, producer of Color Forward. Thanks for joining us and, please, leave us a review.

[outro theme ends]