55. We Show Up, Magic Happens

Episode Transcript

Alisa Manjarrez: (00:01)
Hey listeners, it’s Alisa. This is our 2021 wrap up and today Rosa [inaudible 00:00:07] and I are going through all of our favorite moments from the year. And I just want to tell you that we so appreciate this army of multicultural women that we have gotten to meet, the listen that have engaged with us on all of our social media platforms. We really appreciate you. And we are doing this for you. And I can’t wait to show you what’s in store for 2022. In the meantime, any episode that we mention here, I’m going to link in the show note. So you can go back and listen to them at your leisure. And we hope on behalf of the entire The What Rules!? Color Forward team I want to wish you happy holiday season, and we will see you back in January.

Alisa Manjarrez: (00:59)
I’m starting to get into more into 2022 mode. Every year I usually do a theme for myself, like a phrase or a mantra or a word that I want to embody. And I was like, “Oh my gosh, I forgot. It’s that time of year to start thinking like that.” So I’m kind of like, “Ooh, what am I going to choose?” I have no idea, but I want to start thinking about it.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (01:27)
What did you choose for this year though? Did you do it or..?

Alisa Manjarrez: (01:30)
I get this year and last year mixed up so much, it is one big blur. So maybe this year was when I show up magic happens. I think it was this year, because I remember in February-ish, it really started clicking and I got a new sense of freedom. Just knowing all I need to do is show up and it’s going to work out. And then it literally has, that’s the hardest part, showing up to work out, showing up to yourself, showing up for others. And then to add on when you do that magic happens, it’s really cool. So I got to top that for 2022. I don’t know.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (02:13)
I love that. I mean, just show up and magic happens.

Rosa Santos: (02:18)
That’s quite freeing in the sense of letting go of a lot of things that you think that you need to do prepare or put together in order to have a good experience of whatever it is that you’re showing up for. So thank you for that because I won’t go as far as 2022, I think I’m just going as far as this weekend. So I’ll take it. Thank you.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (02:42)
I want magic to happen every day. So I’m going all in.

Alisa Manjarrez: (02:55)
This is The What Rules!? podcast, where we equip multicultural women to outsmart the game, to advance their career. And my name is Alisa Manjarrez. I am a co-host and co-founder of Color Forward. We have changed the name too of our podcast to What Rules!?, because we have seen so many women breaking the rules, going around the rules, going through the rules and my co-host and co-founders today with me are Dr. Merary Simeon. She is an HR executive and motivational speaker and Rosa Santos, another HR executive and leadership expert tool kit creator, and…

Dr. Merary Simeon: (03:41)
Queen.

Alisa Manjarrez: (03:42)
Yes, we started this podcast in 2019. Technically we launched in 2020. It has been a whirlwind. It almost feels like one year. But today, what I would love for us to do is just recap, 2021, both personally, professionally, and also to talk about what episodes really stood out to us this past year. What do you think Rosa has been the most inspiring part of listening to these women share their stories?

Rosa Santos: (04:16)
It’s been very interesting. It’s just to see that when you listen to the conversations, the discussions, the challenges that all these women have shared with us. One how much we all relate to them on the one hand, and second is how familiar they seem to be. And then when, if you remember Alisa we were having this aha moment was around. Wow. I think there are system overarching themes or principles that truly underpin what most multicultural women actually are trying to break through or to own in order to become who they want to become or achieve what they want to achieve. And we try to summarize it in a way that even though it sounds very overarching, very general, it truly is a way of saying, “Okay, having a distinction by which I can and say, ‘Right, this is the moment where I need to own my power.”

Rosa Santos: (05:27)
That might be different for each and every one of you in terms of the context or the challenge or what you’re trying to create for yourself. But you know you are in that owning your power moment. But it’s really redefining the relationship with yourself. Once you do that is when you go to our next principle, which is create what you want to see. And then, but when you do that, you think you have it all boiled down and you’ve boiled down the ocean and you know exactly what you want to create and how you create it. But adversity happens. All this curve balls continue to come your way.

Rosa Santos: (06:07)
And I think what it’s really interesting here for us, for our community, it’s really to tune and listen to, “All right. I do know that adversity’s going to come my way. I do know that there are going to be all these challenges and all these barriers that are going to be put in front of me. The key here is how I turn those into strengths. How I actually embrace the notion that nothing is easy. And what is it that I’m going to do in order to turn that situation or that slap on the face into a strength that is going to continue to keep you in the track that you created for yourself.”

Alisa Manjarrez: (06:53)
And in some ways it’s adversity is that you’re born with and just being you can be an adversity.

Rosa Santos: (07:00)
One of the elements that we’ve talked about here a lot, which would be our next theme or principle, is when adversity comes your way. When you’re trying to own your power, that you truly don’t do anything alone. That you will always find somebody who’s going to want to help you out. The hardest is to let go of the fact that you don’t want to be seen as someone who can do it all, of someone who does not need help. On the contrary, you want to be seen as the one who’s always helping. But the way I want you to think about it is that in the same way that you are thinking, a lot of other women are thinking that and really want to help you out. So, that is so critically important. And then the last one that we have that I think encapsulates it all.

Rosa Santos: (07:52)
But also it’s a little bit of that one that looking in the abyss. Looking in the abyss is know what you want. So here’s the thing, there’s one thing that you do know when you look at the abyss is you don’t know what you want. You know that already. So if you are that a step… Like you are already step further in starting to put the first really stepping stone to getting to know what you want. And just that process of really peeling the onion, because that’s a little bit of what we do when we look in the abyss and there’s nothing.

Rosa Santos: (08:32)
You go back to our first one of owning your power because you cannot really peel the onion to find out what motivates you. What it is that you really want to do or to become, or offer until again, you go down our themes. So I think this was well, if not the most exciting thing out of this year for us. That we created a language by which our listeners and our community and this with whom we interact, just to share this with them as a gift and as a way of really giving very specific steps to really reflect about themselves and about their futures.

Alisa Manjarrez: (09:21)
Man Rosa, you showed up. That was amazing.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (09:27)
Magic is happening [crosstalk 00:09:30].

Alisa Manjarrez: (09:30)
That’s so good.

Rosa Santos: (09:32)
Yeah, [crosstalk 00:09:35] let’s not, let’s not. Because there’s so much ours, but let’s talk a little bit about for you guys. It was again a trying year and rollercoaster. But one of the things that I have to say is having my week for instance anchor around seeing you guys and having this conversations and meeting people was one of my highlights every week that I knew I was going to go back to. Maybe it was just for me to show up, but it was showing up to a window of possibility and a window of inspiration that also helped me along the way. And I many times I’ve shared this with you before is like, I am listening to this episode and I’m taking notes myself that I’m applying to myself. So I’m just curious. What has it been like for you guys?

Dr. Merary Simeon: (10:27)
All of the episodes, every single conversation is so inspiring to see so many other women that have gone through all these different things. But are sitting in positions of power and are still inspiring and are willing to give their time so that other women can learn from them. So that to me has just been inspiring to meet so many powerful women who are willing to support others, other women and help them in their career plan. But there were two that specifically stood out for me. And it’s in the theme that you mentioned, turn your adversity into your strength.

Elizabeth Colon: (11:05)
When I was successful, I took that and created an imposter syndrome. I honestly think that is because I was trying too hard and I wasn’t being myself because I noticed that when I left those places, I was exhausted. My energy was completely gone. And then I said, I’m going to just be myself. I’m going to pull off those layers. I’m going to release this imposter syndrome because I don’t have to compete with anyone. I am who I am. I went back, I met amazing women and interesting enough when I had a conversation with many of them, they all felt the same way that I do. So that was my first big lesson about self doubt. Let it go because you don’t know what the other person has or doesn’t have or what they’ve gone through. You could be that one person that will meet someone and make a difference in their lives. If you could just be your true offensive self and start with a small conversation, it’s amazing how far it’ll take you.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (12:01)
It was on episode 46, learning to win as an outsider where we interviewed Elizabeth [inaudible 00:12:07]. And why I relate to it so much because there so many instances where we show up and we feel like an outsider, whether it’s at the business table, whether it is picking up your kids or school, if you have kids. Whether it may be showing up at a friend’s home, it doesn’t matter. But there are many times where we walk in places and we’re feeling as an outsider. And for me, that has been my story for many years. And what I really loved about it is that turning that adversity into your strength. And when you do that, when you realize, “That’s right, I’m different, I’m the outsider. And that is the superpower. That is what I bring to the table. So very different something magical, something unique.”

Dr. Merary Simeon: (12:57)
And that is also what then brings me back to creating what I want to see. Because a lot of the times when you are the outsider, you are seeing things that are missing, which then allows you to own your power and create what you want to see. So for me, that one really stood out. And the other one that stood out for me was episode 36 with Vanessa Santos about finding your secret sauce.

Vanessa Santos: (13:26)
For me, that is what was my secret sauce. But I arrived at that after much self-reflection because for a long time, I did not feel worthy enough. Find out what makes you, you understand it so that you know, it, you are a subject matter expert and then make yourself heard and raise your voice. A lot of times the immigrant mentality is don’t speak up too much, just be prim and proper blah, blah, blah. And I realized how much that hindered me and affected me. But that took a lot of self reflection to get from a point of not, not feeling worthy or good enough to understanding I have things to flex.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (13:59)
I think a lot of times we don’t know, we don’t realize what our purpose is or what we’re good at. And that is so critical when you look back and you’re like, “Hmm, I am good at this. I can do this.” And know that, that specific purpose carries through everything that you do in life.\ And that is what brings your joy. So finding the secret sauce for me, it’s personal, empowering women, it’s something that I’ve been doing probably since the day I could remember. And thriving in adversity, it’s in my DNA now. So those two really stand out for me and are something that I live every day. But if you really want to talk about one that transformed me, it was about not doing it alone. And I do these things because I feel that I have to. I feel that…

Alisa Manjarrez: (14:56)
There’s no other choice.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (14:57)
Yeah. That there’s no other choice that I have to take on that burden. And I guess the one that really hit me that really transformed me, would’ve been when Shantell Thomas on episode 42 was talking about befriending the unlikely person at work.

Shantell Thomas: (15:20)
I know that given the fact that I am a double minority, I want to meet other people, but I want to give them the opportunity to see if they see another black woman, maybe across the table from them interviewing for the job that they can put a little humanity on it. It is befriending the unlikely person that people are generally surprised that you’re friends with. We all just want to be seen with people you interact with, you’ve got to let them know that they are being seen and heard. And that’s the thing that brings the barriers down.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (15:58)
And what really hit me is how are I leveraging those people that I may not trust, but I need to befriend them so that they can help me move to the next level. Or maybe they have the network or the connections or the skills or the capabilities that I need in order to make it to the next step or the next level or the next conversation. So to me, that was probably the most transformational. The other two were ones that really tugged on my heart, because so many of us, not all of us, but many of us are still going through that.

Shantell Thomas: (16:34)
That’s so funny that you’re like, “I’m going to befriend more people.” And I’m thinking, I think this episode was in 2020 when Rosa talked about keeping the core people on her shelf. Now I look at relationships that don’t serve me and I’m like, “Well, going off the shelf.”

Dr. Merary Simeon: (16:53)
I think you got to be strategic about some of those relationships though. That’s how I look at it a little bit different as well is, “Okay, what are the friendships that we need? And how strategic are you about them?” There are things that I say to the both of you that I consider at a friendship level. And there are other friends associates maybe that I strategically have because we can mutually support each other. Yeah. And I think Alisa, you had said something about the circle. If I remember correctly, we had the conversation, the friends and the different rings and circles that they’re in. And I can’t remember how you talked about Alisa, but there was a circle inner circle, outer circle.

Alisa Manjarrez: (17:37)
Yeah. And you can move people from circle to circle.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (17:40)
Yes.

Alisa Manjarrez: (17:41)
Yeah. I forgot about that too, actually. But yeah, you have your friendship circles, you have your inner circle and then your acquaintance circle, your networkers, your mentors, your sponsors, your other people. And sometimes in different seasons of life, people move in and out, Rosa and I started as student, I don’t know, cohort people. I don’t know what to call when in grad school. And then we moved into friendship, probably some mentorship and some business. We’ve gone through a lot of weaved in and out of these circles. And the beauty of it is when you do own your power, you also own your relationships and you get to decide how close you bring people in. Or when it’s time to put them out a little bit, take them off the shelf.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (18:30)
Just like a business. And that’s exactly how you have to treat those. I love it.

Alisa Manjarrez: (18:35)
One of my favorite episodes was Michele Francisco’s episode on number 44. And she talked about how she was going through a really hard time. And she went and talked to her boss and he gave her a six month sabbatical.

Michele Francisco: (19:00)
The learning I’ve had over the years, it’s when I’ve shared being vulnerable, that the best opportunities and solutions have opened up. After I got my MBA and I graduated did it was a really stressful time for me. And I came out of it, really burned out and I was in a really bad place. So thankful of my C.O, I talked to him and told him I was having a really hard time. And he was like, “What is it you need?” And I told him, “I need to take time off. I need time away to just recharge.” And we worked it out and he figured out how to give me a six month leave of absence. In that moment, I didn’t know what I wanted, but I was like, “You know what? The thing I want the most is time away. But I don’t want to lose my job.” And what’s the worst that can happen. He can say no, but I’ll always regret if I never asked for it in that moment.

Alisa Manjarrez: (19:48)
And when that episode came about, I don’t think anything really struck a chord in that moment for me, but the theme not in a alone had. And just before that, around spring of this year, I lost a couple of key clients that were essentially paying my rent. And I went to one of my other clients who I was doing some podcast work with. And I said, “Hey, I’m running low on cash.” And it was really hard for me to say that to him because he’s someone I really respect as a colleague. And I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t succeeding. And I felt like a little bit of a failure as an entrepreneur in that moment that like, “Ugh, me losing two clients, loses all my business. What do I do?” And so we started this conversation and through hearing her step out of her comfort zone and talk to someone and ask for help.

Alisa Manjarrez: (20:49)
One of the things that I realized was even though I’m an entrepreneur, there comes a point in business where sometimes doing something with someone else makes you better. And throughout these last several months, I’ve realized I… There are areas that I want to grow in that I can’t do alone. And he’s also realized that he’s taken his business to a certain point, been very successful, but now he can’t do it alone. And so this October, I became managing director of a marketing agency with my client stories bureau. And it’s been amazing to see the magic that has happened when you do something with someone else, when you build with someone else. Sure, I could have done something by myself and I could really tell my achievements and pat myself on the back, it doesn’t mean I can’t do it. But it is so much better with others.

Alisa Manjarrez: (21:50)
And so that don’t do it alone, the principle overall, the episode with her and Trudy episode, let’s see what episode was that? Trudy is number 41. She built a community called women of community. All those examples of stepping up your power by adding others to it has been transformational. And I just realized, we forgot to mention another principle, which is change course without hesitation. Taking that data that you’re talking about, those small decisions, thinking about owning your power, creating what you want to see. And then when you see it move and that element of risk taking is also something that we’ve seen a lot of these women encompass in ourselves. We do it too.

Rosa Santos: (22:45)
Very inspiring. I think Merary we’re talking about how inspiring it is. But when you look at all of our conversations, look at the compounding effects of all what this women are doing today. So if you look at it collectively and in that way, and from a don’t do it alone perspective, really the world’s is our oyster at the end of the day. It’s full of possibilities.

Dr. Merary Simeon: (23:09)
You’re right. Collectively we’re changing the world. This year was only just a glimpse of the best that’s to come ahead. It’s what I would say. I think every year we discover more remarkable women and the collectible impact that they’re making. We started this to elevate the voice of women and bring multicultural women from all around the world to a place where they could find other women that look like her. That sound like them that have gone through difficult times. And now we’ve been two years at this and every conversation is more inspiring than the next. So I look forward to what’s to come and to really introducing to the world, the women that are really making it happen every day. The women that are changing the world, the leaders that many of us aspire to be. And the leaders that are really paving the road for us ahead. See you in 2022.

Alisa Manjarrez: (24:23)
Want to know how breaking the rules can help you level up your career game? Search What Rules!? podcast on any social media platform and join our members only group on LinkedIn, where we discuss rule breaking strategies for multicultural women. What Rules!? is a production of Color Forward. The show is produced by me, Alisa Manjarrez with editing and fabulous sound design by [inaudible 00:24:46], visit colorforward.com for more stories, events and of course all the episodes of What Rules!?